When Joy Comes in the Night

They say joy comes in the morning. So, all day long I kept looking for my joy. But I couldn’t find it. The sun was bright. The day was hot. The joy was gone.

But. God is so faithful. It always amazes me just how faithful God is to me. It probably shouldn’t surprise me -but I think I like that it does. I don’t deserve the faithfulness and love and yet He keeps giving it to me over and over again. It brings to mind the song by Cory Asbury, Reckless Love:

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

I was having a really emotionally draining day. No joy. Everything was making me sad. Every memory of my dad brought tears of sorrow because I missed him instead of tears of happy memories. I was trying to find the joy in this morning. The beauty in this day. Everything I saw brought a flood of sadness washing over me. I passed a billboard advertising fireworks and started crying because I wouldn’t be able to see the fireworks from my front porch this summer. Such a silly thing to be crying over – but I’ve grown to love fireworks and to me they represent summer, and freedom, and joy, and America. I cried that I just wanted to see fireworks from my porch.

I went to the cemetery to where my dad is buried. It’s not something I ever saw myself doing but there was no where else I needed to be in that moment. I knew my dad would say it was a beautiful day and I should find joy in it but I sat there and while I was able to just remind myself my dad wasn’t there…. I wasn’t finding joy. I reminded myself that he is free from pain, sadness, sickness, and stress. I left feeling better but still lost and “joy-free”.

Fast forward several hours and I hear some bangs and booms. My husband sent me a text to walk out on the porch. There were fireworks shooting off in the distance and I had such a perfect view.

But, God is overwhelming in His love for me, and there was not one, but there were actually 3, firework shows going off at the same time. I could see them all.

Added in, was the backyard full of lightning bugs. I had just been sad over the day or so before because I hadn’t seen any yet this summer and they remind me of my dad. I cried again. This time the tears were of joy and not sadness. God is faithful. He loves me. He’s got me. He reminds me. It’s a beautiful night, because God made it.

Sometimes joy doesn’t come in the morning- but in the mourning.

It comes in the dark of night, because that’s when the light is easiest to pick out.

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

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