I know that I have recently written a post about removing the word should from my vocabulary. I was going to begin this post rescinding that position for a moment and say that we all should start taking the time to think before letting our thoughts become words that we express to others. Yet, the more I thought about it, treating others in a kind manner is a choice to make. If being kind is only because you “should” then it isn’t very genuine anyway. All of that said, my thoughts are still that if everyone, including myself in this, stopped and took the time to take a breath and think before letting our angry thoughts out in the open we’d all get along so much better. I firmly believe we need to choose to treat others in a loving way.
I am as human as the next person. I get upset. I get angry. I get hurt. I get pissed off. I let curse words slip out of my mouth. I say things I do not really mean to people that I blame for my angry feelings. Yet, there is a way to express anger and upset with another person without breaking them down. None of us know what another person might be going through. We have NO idea how much of a terrible day another person might already be going through and then we make the choice to use angry words that can literally cut them to their soul and just push them over the edge. I am certain there are other ways to express our hurt feelings without using those angry, cutting, just plain mean words.
Also, while I believe all people can decide to act this way, it seems especially important for people that identify themselves as Christians to live in this way. If you profess to the world you are a Christian, then you are professing to the world that you believe the Bible and believe in treating others in a loving manner. You are also professing that you believe a main goal of your life is to bring others to the same faith as yourself. By having an attitude that cuts others down, you are pushing them away.
I recently ran into a stranger in an urgi-care waiting room. I was desperately trying to keep to myself and bury my face in my cell phone. She was not letting me get off easy. She got to talking to me. I know a lot about her life now. (A LOT!) I sensed she had the need to just talk to someone. I put my phone away and listened. I am glad I did. She didn’t want to listen to me but she needed an ear to hear her. Among so many other obstacles and happenings in her life, she told me that she won’t go to a specific church because several of the people at that particular church in leadership positions do not treat others in a loving manner. This broke my heart. That any person could feel so unwanted anywhere because of the way they have been treated but that a church was somewhere she felt the most unwanted and most unloved and most judged.
I did not have any magic words to say to make her feel better except that not everywhere is like that and that not every person would make her feel that way. I did not say much because she did not want to hear much. She thanked me for listening and we went our separate ways when she got called back to see the doctor.
I do not know if I made any sort of impression on her. It honestly does not matter. She made an impression upon me. She made me realize even more that I need to choose my words and think before I speak to others, especially when angry because those angry words can be long reaching. This isn’t because it is something I should be doing but something I want to be doing.